The words drug test can make any drug user nervous, no matter how experienced they are in taking them. However, with today’s technology, people are getting pretty crafty in finding ways to pass their drug tests.
But, given that companies are getting stricter and laboratories are constantly improving their processes and equipment, it’s actually getting harder and harder to cheat a drug test with a detox.
That’s where synthetic urine comes in! In this article, I’ll be reviewing Monkey Whizz, one of the most popular synthetic urine products on the market, and I’ll find out if it really works for drug tests.
How Do Drug Tests Work?
Obviously, a drug test is meant to detect any drugs that are in your system. A urine test is one of the most common procedures simply because it’s cheap and easy to do. It’s a fairly simple process: you pee, submit a sample, the lab analyzes it, and you pray that you pass. Some companies, however, prefer doing hair tests over urine tests, which are considerably harder to cheat, but also more costly which means that there’s a low chance that your employer might implement it.
Not only does a drug test look for any illicit substances in your system, but it can also detect alcohol and nicotine. While they aren’t illegal, some companies are stricter when it comes to these things, but it all depends on the job that you’re applying for.
What’s In Monkey Whizz?
Because of how simple a urine test is, it’s also easy to fool. A lot of companies have created products that can help you pass your drug test. The synthetic urine brand we’ll be looking at today is called Serious Monkey Business, which doesn’t really sound convincing because of its name, but it’s actually become one of the most trusted brands of synthetic urine on the scene. Their product, Monkey Whizz, has a considerable amount of regular users. Tons of people swear by it and recommend it to those who have a drug test coming up.
The reason why most people trust it so much is because of how accurate it is compared to the real thing. In general, synthetic urine products must have the following ingredients to pass the lab test:
- Uric acid
- The right pH range
- The right gravity
- The look and scent of real urine
- Froth similar to real urine
Monkey Whizz has the right formula to fool almost any basic lab test. Besides that, the company is very dedicated in its mission to replicate authentic urine – it’s one of the brands that grows the same bacteria found in real human pee. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is!
How Does Monkey Whizz Work?
Serious Monkey Business has different versions of Monkey Whizz products so how it works really depends on which product you buy. They have four products that are popular among users:
- Monkey Whizz synthetic urine
- Serious Monkey Flask urine
- Monkey Whizz synthetic urine belt
- Monkey Dong synthetic urine device
Let’s start with Monkey Whizz synthetic urine. It’s a powdered substance and it’s really cheap, going for around $20 and all you have to do to activate it is to add water. It’s one of the cheapest alternatives you have out there, especially since other brands are a bit more expensive than Monkey Whizz. However, it doesn’t come with a heating pad – we’ll talk about why this is important later.
The next product, the Serious Monkey Flask urine, is a premade version of the Monkey Whizz synthetic urine. The difference, besides its form, is that it comes with a heating pad that can keep your sample warm for 8 hours and a temperature strip that shows you if your sample is too warm or too cold.
A Monkey Whizz synthetic urine belt takes it to the next level with a belt and tube that you can use to simulate urinating. Sounds kind of weird, but it’s perfect for those drug tests that require you to be monitored.
Lastly, the Monkey Dong synthetic urine device works best for men (and I think it’s obvious why). Not only does it come with synthetic urine, but it also has a fake penis to boot. It’s made out of rubber and you put the synthetic urine in to simulate peeing.
Results: Is Monkey Whizz Effective?
All Monkey Whizz products work, that’s for sure, no matter which product you buy. They’ve mastered the craft of almost perfecting the formula to replicate real pee which is why they’re so trustworthy. While there’s no question about the reliability of Monkey Whizz, it also depends on how mindful you are about fake pee.
Surprisingly enough, the reason why so many people fail their drug tests is because they forget to take temperature into account when they submit their sample. Real urine is around 98 to 100 °F and there’s a high chance that your fake pee can be colder than that, which is why you have to make sure that it’s warm enough before submission.
If you’re going for the cheaper option, the powdered Monkey Whizz synthetic urine is a good enough option, just make sure you heat it up just enough before your test, taking into account your travel time to your test destination – a recommended way of doing it is sticking your sample in the microwave for 10 seconds on its lowest setting and doing it in intervals until it’s warm enough. Take note, however, that if it gets too hot, it might change the composition of your sample, so do this with caution.
If I were you, though, I’d rather go for the products that come with a heating pad. A standard heating pad for synthetic urine can usually keep your sample warm for up to 8 hours, making it very convenient especially if your travel time to the lab is considerably long. Remember that temperature is absolutely crucial in passing your drug test so be extra mindful of it! (We’ve a guide here on how to keep fake urine warm)
Another mistake most people make is buying synthetic pee off of Amazon or eBay. While it may seem like a convenient and quick solution, most synthetic urine products on Amazon are usually old stocks, meaning they’re closer to their expiration date and might put you at risk. What’s worse is that the product you get on Amazon might even be fake (imagine buying fake synthetic urine, the irony). I’ve discovered that most scammers make fake pee by just using water and food coloring and sell it using the same packaging as Monkey Whizz.
I know it sounds tempting to get it the easy way, but trust me when I say that there’s really no easy way to fake a drug test result. In fact, you’ll need to exercise extra caution in all areas, including where you buy your synthetic urine. So, to be sure, never buy Monkey Whizz – or any other synthetic urine brand – on Amazon or eBay and just buy from reliable drug test product websites.
The Verdict: Should You Buy Monkey Whizz?
If you asked me if Monkey Whizz works for pre-employment drug tests, my short answer would be: yes, it does. But my long answer to that would be: yes, but it depends on how extensive the lab test is.
The tricky thing about Monkey Whizz is that it can only pass the simplest of drug tests. If you’re going through more than just the simple pre-employment drug test, then Monkey Whizz’s formula may not cut it for you.
Sometimes, laboratories perform more rigorous tests to further validate your urine sample, and Monkey Whizz isn’t really cut out for those kinds of tests. If you’re not entirely comfortable with the idea of synthetic urine, you can try any of these methods for your upcoming drug test:
- Cleanse your body of any substances. I have to warn you that this method requires a significant amount of time for you to be able to flush out all the toxins in your body, so only do this when you’re sure you have enough time.
- Stop using drugs for a while. Yes, it’s hard, especially if you get invited to parties or outings a lot, but trust me when I tell you that it’s not worth losing a job opportunity over.
If, however, the plans above aren’t viable for you, then I suggest that you buy Monkey Whizz – only if you can’t find any better alternatives.
When it comes to synthetic urine, there’s really only one brand that I trust: Quick Fix. While Monkey Whizz can help you pass your basic drug test, it’ll still put you at risk if the lab decides to extensively inspect your sample. Its chemical composition just isn’t enough to help you pass.
With Quick Fix (full quick fix urine review), you can be sure that the range of its chemical composition is broader and of better quality. This means that it’ll pass any rigorous tests that the lab might put it through, helping you land the job you want without any problems. At the end of the day, Monkey Whizz is a cheap alternative. It does work, but I personally wouldn’t take my chances with it.